The Silent Writer

Why Does SNL Suck So Much: The Jimmy Fallon Conundrum

2009-04-17T11:17:00.005-05:00

Saturday Night Live has been on a downward spiral ever since their big talent left. SNL has become a springboard for movie stars and it seems to take less and less time for the talent of the show to move on and go straight to Hollywood (straight to the moon). The only funny people on SNL, and I mean THE ONLY FUNNY PEOPLE (sorry for that outburst of Caps), are Bill Hader, Andy Samberg and Kristen Wiig. Bill Hader is well on his way to becoming a star in Hollywood; Andy Samberg was in Hot Rod and could soon find his way into more movies and then grow even more in popularity; and Kristen Wiig isn't too far along yet but I'm sure that after Adventureland, she will be moving on to greener pastures as well (where the deer and the cantaloupe play... see what I did there... cantaloupe...).

SNL has had eras. There was the Chevy Chase/Steve Martin/Eddie Murphy era; the Phil Hartman/Chris Farley/Adam Sandler era; and the Will Ferrell/Colin Quinn/Tracy Morgan era. All of these eras have been fantastic and insanely entertaining (like a mental hospital... explosive entertainment). But now, we are now in what I like to call the "Post-Jimmy Fallon" era. For some reason, after Jimmy Fallon left the show, the entire thing fell apart (like a house of comedy cards). He was like an unfunny, laugh during every single sketch glue of some kind (probably horse glue).

I know what you're thinking... This doesn't make any sense. We have all spent the last few years absolutely hating Jimmy Fallon and talking about how overrated (by who?) he is. He was even hired to take Conan's place after he moves up to Leno's time slot when the great Late Night switch happens this year (who made that decision? It wasn't by viewer votes otherwise I'd blame hanging chads). How could this man possibly be the reason why SNL is in its current holding pattern of pure suck? I don't know... I really don't. All I know is that he is and I have a couple of theories.

Theory 1:
Because Jimmy Fallon laughed during every sketch, he made the other cast members look so much better. Think about it... In the beginning, we all thought that Fallon was laughing because something extremely funny was happening and so, in turn, it caused us to laugh even harder. Near the middle, he was being overshadowed by every other cast member and was getting fewer sketches. He had Weekend Update but the only reason he made that funny is because he literally only read the news... That's it... He read the news and sat next to Tina Fey which instantly made him look even worse by comparison (it's tough to go against the Fey). So, he decided to leave SNL and embarked on a film journey we all call... Taxi (how dare they use the name of a beloved TV show). This movie single-handedly should have ruined the rest of his career and for awhile there, it did until he resurfaced (like the Loch Ness monster) as the man who would replace Conan (the Irish Barbarian). It didn't make any sense and it still doesn't (probably never will).

(Conspiracy) Theory 2:
Jimmy Fallon is a spy. This could be the only explanation (hear me out). Jimmy Fallon was hired by MadTV in order to bring down Saturday Night Live. I'm sure that I'm not the first person to say this and I probably won't be the last. MadTV always was the red-headed stepchild to SNL's black haired beauty (what did I just say?). SNL always slammed MadTV in the ratings and was always getting more publicity and attention (this is based on my own research). MadTV had to come up with a plan. They found a young, innocent Jimmy Fallon and trained him in the arts of mediocre comedy (Will Sasso or Alex Borstein obviously didn't train him). He was hired on at SNL, probably for his looks, and had to play it cool for awhile. He was charming and laughed during sketches because gosh darn it all, that Will Ferrell is one funny fellow (that's how Fallon talks). It worked for awhile until MadTV activated the chip in Fallon's head and he went on a show-ruining rampage of unwarranted laughter, terrible line deliveries and whatever else he decided to crucify during his crushing crusade of comedy (that's called alliteration folks). Then, MadTV had to get rid of its weapon and so after Fallon left SNL, they set him up with a part in Taxi (how dare the use the name of a beloved TV show). It destroyed Fallon's career. However, this story wasn't finished yet (could be a neverending story... hehe). Fallon would have his revenge. When MadTV was ultimately cancelled, Jimmy Fallon came back into the limelight and is now hosting the Late Show with Jimmy Fallon (it's almost a coincidence that he was hired for a show that has his name in the title.... OR IS IT?!?).

So, as you can see, the reason why Saturday Night Live is in such deep trouble is because Jimmy Fallon left. It doesn't matter which theory you choose (I'm partial to the 2nd one myself) because the proof is in the pudding (Jello Pudding Pops).

On a side note, I want to say sorry to Jimmy Fallon (and I feel sorry for him). He is in way over his head and I don't know if he'll be able to climb out of the hole he has dug for himself. He probably shouldn't have accepted the Late Night position or at least should've gotten some better writers beforehand. I know for a fact that I couldn't host that show and maybe Fallon should have come to the same realization: Some people are meant to host and some are not (while some are meant to disappear... forever).

Good luck, Jimmy! We're all rooting for you (except for... everyone).

For Your Consideration: Are Awards Important?

2009-04-08T15:25:00.004-05:00

With the plethora of award shows (and new ones cropping up all the time) that are out there, it would seem that winning one of them wouldn't be too difficult. If you make movies, you've got the BAFTA's, Academy Awards, Golden Globes, MTV Movie Awards, Independent Spirit Awards, SAG Awards and, if you really suck at making movies (Uwe Boll), they even have the Razzies just for you (Aww... Failure). If music is more of your thing, they have the Grammy's, MTV Video Music Awards, Country Music Association Awards and a few other smaller shows that I couldn't find (on the first page of Google... research... ha). Does neither one of those industries fit you? Well, there's also awards for video games and they are... the Video Game Awards on Spike (inventive name) but there are also other awards you can win at shows like E3 and GDC. There are writing awards like the Pulitzer. There are spelling bees, Scrabble tournaments and Major League Gaming (I'm a gamer and this even makes me cringe a bit when I hear it).

My point is that no matter what hobby you have or job that you do, there is more than likely an award that can be given to you (RhYmEd It!). So, if you've never won an award, then what's the problem? What are you doing wrong? Are you a failure? By George, of course not (almost spelled that Boy George)! You are just as deserving as the rest but therein lies the problem. With so many awards to be won, hasn't the thrill of winning them dwindled (the thrill is gone)? I think that it depends on your personality, whether or not you've won in the past and just how much you care about what other people think (self-consciousness is the number one cause of tooth decay). Here are a couple of examples:

For this example, I'm a first-time director who has had his short film nominated for an Academy Award. Nobody has ever seen this movie (not even the Academy) and therefore nobody really cares whether or not it wins, except for me and others involved (girlfriend... mom... dad... uh... mom and dad). My movie is announced as the winner and I go on stage to accept the award. I have been waiting my entire life for this moment and so I cry a little (not like Halle Berry... yeesh); thank God and my parents; and then walk off stage, into utter oblivion (15 minutes of fame... -14 minutes because they cut my speech off with music... of course). In this specific example, yes, the award is important to me because it is the first one and it fills me with a sense of accomplishment that wasn't there beforehand (or during-hand... but yes, after-hand). Thank you, the Academy, for making my dream come true!

For the second example, I'm a distinguished actor who has one the awards 3 times already, took a brief hiatus filled with a lot of paycheck roles and then made a "comeback" (I was never gone) to win for the 4th time. To me, this ain't my first rodeo (tired... tired phrase). I've ridden this bull for 24 seconds already and the extra 8 (total: 32) won't make too much of a difference for me. I'll just be able to fill one more empty space on my mantle with a meaningless award from people that I don't even know. There aren't any John Wayne's or Clint Eastwood's anymore (oh... he is still alive... good for him!); there are only feminine Twilight-type guys and John Cena's left in this world. There is no in between choice for those who remember the good old days when the Oscars actually meant something (the 60's, 70's and 80's). They call my name and I walk up to the podium, filled with a concealed, fiery, old guy rage. I keep my cool as I go through my speech telling the people want they want to hear (remember that one time when I was relevant?). I walk off the stage and into the free bar that they have waiting backstage when I am immediately surrounded by the younger generation of Hollywood. They tell me how much of an inspiration I am and how honored they are to be in my presence and I wish I could say the same (but I can't... what's the point, right?). One of them has 12 kids, each of a different race, following her around the backstage as she tries to corral them like miniature cattle. I think to myself, "12 different guys, at least that part of Hollywood hasn't changed much." I see another who has been nominated for that year's "socially relevant film" dealing with religion or some other controversial subject (remember when movies used to be about cowboys and the mafia?). I go home and put my Oscar in the closet next to the others. Thank you, the Academy, for making me reflect on and strongly resent the last 10 years of my career (was I Al Pacino or Robert De Niro? Or, was I a combination? I took artistic license with the amount of Academy Award wins but those guys have been snubbed plenty of times to warrant a few extras).

Now, this is me talking. After seeing so many people win these awards, I have come to the conclusion that I am never going to win one (ever). Am I the only person in the world who would gladly accept a Razzie or an Opposite-of-Pulitzer Award (that was fabricated)? Hey, at least somebody actually took the time to watch or read your work and felt that it needed to be judged (like Davy Jones... "Tyler Perry... You must be punished... 100 years before the mast"). Do I need to be acknowledged for what I've done (judging by the readership of this blog, which is ZERO, I would say no)? It would be nice but it isn't a necessity. It would be cool to be able to post a .jpg of an award on my blog though (Least Read Blog in the History of Blogs Award).

I guess the answer to the question, that I asked nobody but myself, is this: it depends. Are you a baby-faced newcomer or a grizzled professional? Do you dream of seeing the world or have you seen it all and said, "meh?" These are questions that don't really need to be asked but are food for thought (bacon-y delicious).

(This post has been brought to you by the number 2 because the "Rule of Three" was much too difficult today.)

Where Do You Find Inspiration?

2009-04-07T14:56:00.005-05:00

Inspiration is like a unicorn (beautiful, but deadly). It is majestic and glorious but very rare. You hardly ever find it (or see one in the wild). I, for one, have a lot of trouble finding inspiration or motivation when trying to work, go to school or write anything. I look around the room and try to find it. I look out the window and try to find it. It is elusive indeed (like a jack rabbit or some such nonsense). While looking around my room, I usually just end up imagining what it would it be like to break down the wall and really surprise my neighbors in the connected apartment (Surprise, there goes your deposit!).

Inspiration can come in all shapes and forms. It can be in the form of a person, animal, storm, book, movie, video game, newspaper, Chinese food container, brown paper bag, website, flower, flounder, bounder or quarter-pounder (wha?). I'm trying to say that it can come from anywhere and I think I have illustrated my point. You can't go looking for it, I suppose, but I really wish I could just hunt it with my Smith and Wesson or my 12-gauge (I don't own either of those, but I'm confident that I could find one somewhere... just... lying around). I could kill it, skin it and eat it to gain its power (Power of love... You don't need money... Don't take fame... Don't need no credit card to ride this train).

The truth is that it isn't that simple. I sometimes stare at my computer screen for hours at a time trying to come up with an idea. I come up with millions of them but none that really stick. Here's an example of an idea that I come up with:

"Ok, so there's this guy. He is a marksman who competes in competitions and is considered one of the top 5 shooters in the world. His secret is that being a marksman is only his day job and in fact he is a hitman by night. So, I guess, in a way, he is totally a marksman all the time. That is his curse though. He has a son who wants nothing to do with him but ends up following in his footsteps none the less. During one assassination, the son fails and is being chased down by the men who hired him. It is up to the father to save the son and learn a lesson in what is truly important in life."

In that movie, I would picture Sylvester Stallone being the father and Shia Lebouf being the son. Wouldn't that be awesome (Nope)???

Here's another example, but this one comes when I am staring out the window during school:

"Ok, so there is this guy (this sounds promising!). He is just an average guy who hasn't done much in his life. He decides that he wants to work for the FBI. To his surprise, they hire him right away and give him a very important case. He is assigned to protect the most important asset to America and maybe even the world... Bono. Hear me out... Bono is on a mission to save Africa from itself when all of a sudden a regime from Somalia comes in and attempts to kill him. The main character is in a race against time to get Bono out of Africa, adopt a child and take down the evil regime that is controlling Africa. I call it... Escape From Africa. It will star Bono and Don Cheadle."

So, now you see what I'm dealing with. My brain betrays me into believing that the random ideas coming out are actually good and that I should make them into a story of some kind. Well, brain, I'm not falling for it anymore. You are no longer my muse. Inspiration cannot be found within yourself because it will just be the regurgitated version of an original work (I'm looking at you Hollywood, stop throwing a dart at your DVD collection or archives to decide which remake should come out this year... or I'll throw darts... at your face!).

Now, onto the second most important topic of this (random) post. Motivation is an evil, cruel and mischievous fellow. It pops up at the most inopportune times and forces you to do its bidding. You need to clean your room because your girlfriend and her parents are coming over to watch movies (who does that?); motivation is nowhere to be found. You just want to sit down and enjoy some nice video game or movie time by relaxing and motivation shows up to ruin the party. Maybe you should clean your bathroom (I'll clean your bathroom, motivation... at your face!).

It really is depressing how easy it is for your brain to convince you that its time to do something. For example:

Me: "You know, I should really just take a day to relax and play some video games. Yeah, I think I deserve it. I've been working hard with school and work and I-"

Motivation: "You've been putting off the gym for a long time now... You're getting a bit... pudgy."

Me: "Pudgy? Well... You're fat!"

Motivation: "Don't take it out on me, Pudgy McPudge. You can't eat Chef Boyardee, large nachos from Amigos and drink copious amounts of Mtn Dew (Mountain Dew for the uninitiated and uncool) without gaining some weight... a lot of weight... like a metric ton of it."

Me: "How is being cruel going to motivate me?"

Motivation: "Your brain tells me that authority is the only thing you respond to. It also tells me that your low self-esteem can be used against you to an extreme degree."

Me: "Yeah? Well, my brain is a backstabbing heart breaker. Why don't you tell him that?"

Motivation: "I will, the next time I seem him. Although, it is getting increasingly difficult because of the sheer magnitude of your fat head."

Me: "I don't need you, " I said, turning to the old lady sitting next to me on the bench.

Old Lady: "That's what my family tells me..."

Needless to say, I felt pretty horrible about the whole ordeal. This is why motivation is evil. Motivation and inspiration are also in cahoots (haha... cahoots). They work together in order to make my life a living hell and that's not cool (cool whip). Motivational Inspiration. Inspirational Motivation. Pure Evil.

I have a warning for all of you writers or wannabe writers out there. Don't ever listen to your conscience; don't ever look for inspiration; and most importantly...

I'm going to go make a sandwich.

The Newest and Best Television Show

2009-04-01T16:01:00.002-05:00

My name is Nathaniel Eggers, better known as Tricera-Savior. My goal and calling in life is to save the people of earth from evil itself, Tricera-Evil that is. Along with my sidekicks, the Tricera-Trifecta, we will rid this beautiful planet of all the ugliness that attempts to destroy it. My source of power will remain unknown for fear that my enemies may dare to use it against me. My identity, however, can be known for I am merely a man bestowed with a gift of reinforcing justice in a justice-less age. I seek to restore the balance of imbalance; I strive to potent the impotent; and I shave regularly, laughing in the face of second-day stubble. It is hardly even a pawn in the evil game of chess being played in front of our very eyes. It is only a nuisance that is easily dealt with for I must always have a smooth-as-a-baby’s-butt complexion and also so that I can use sayings that aren’t even relevant in today’s hoity-toity world. Hoity-toity is something only Tricera-Savior can say now. It is a phrase lost in the sands of time and phased out to the point of utter oblivion. Also, I have ADD.

"TRICERA-"

The Beginning

The Perfect Night/Day

2009-04-01T12:48:00.003-05:00

So, here was my perfect plan for last night, into this morning.

1. Go to Buffalo Wild Wings for my girlfriend's birthday with her and a bunch of friends.

2. Drink one tall glass of beer and have 3 shots of hard liquor with names like: Four Horsemen, Goldschlager and something with Crown Royal in it.

3. Say things like “I’m squeezing heads” and make up a television show called “Tricera-“. In the show, the villain is Tricera-Evil and he has minions like Tricera-Hands, Tricera-Backs and Tricera-Twins (they are not triplets because they are cloned). The bad guys always end up losing of course to the main hero, whose name I haven’t come up with yet.

4. Study for an Econ test for about 30 minutes while half-asleep.

5. Sleep for about 7 hours.

6. Wake up and take a Spanish test that I forgot about but rock it because I’m 1/8 Mexican (not true).

7. Get out of Spanish early so that I can study for the Econ test for about 20 minutes beforehand.

8. Do decently well on the Econ test with the exception of a question that defied logic. 32+28+24+24+20+20 does not equal 60, 72, 136 or 156. It just doesn’t. You can’t add it up differently to get one of those answers. So, I put 156 and I know it’s wrong somehow. Econ isn’t supposed to be 1 + 1 = 3 but it definitely seems that way.

9. Go to work after school and stare at a computer screen for about 5 hours.

The perfect ending to a perfect night/day.

Bracketology

2009-03-18T10:11:00.002-05:00

I fill out my NCAA Tournament bracket just like everyone else (one leg at a time).

WAIT! Something to Write About

2009-03-16T14:59:00.002-05:00

There is a problem that is plaguing the great world that we live in (not Bubonic). It is forcing us to cough up $10, then $20 and even as much as $60. What is this problem? It is unoriginality in movies and video games. Let me give you an example:

I come to you as a screenwriter and/or director with an idea for a film. You are the producer (the big spenda) and you have to decide, out of thousands of submissions, which movie to make (spend ya money on). I just happen to have two ideas (I like to come prepared..... and I like to party). Both of my ideas would take roughly $100 to $150 million to make and so you have to make your decision based on multiple factors. The first idea is an experimental movie that blends genres together. It is a musical comedy with horror/action themes set in the past but also includes elements of time travel in order to take our main cast, of relatively unknown actors, to different eras in history and they get to sing songs about it (you can try to think of a movie like this and how awesome it would be but trust me, there isn't one). You think about this idea and say, "I don't know, it's a bit risky. I think that you need to get the hell out of my office." I tell you to wait one hot minute (who says that) because I have a second idea that will blow the first one out of the friggen water (note: I only said that I had a second idea and in all actuality... I don't have one... I sweat for a second and then think.... BAM!... Got it!). I give you the pitch:

"Ok, ok... So there's this character called... Skyman or Airman (haven't decided yet) and he is a superhero. He can fly and shoot stuff out of his fingers. He fights crime, no matter how big or small the offense, and loves the good old U.S. of A. There is one problem though. He is married and has 3 kids. His alter-ego is... uhh.... Simon Arman (dodged a bullet) and he can dodge bullets... I mean... His family can't find out that he is a superhero or else they will leave him for someone more normal... Like an accountant... Which is what Simon Arman does for a living when he's not being Skyman (or Airman). The movie is about his rise to prominence and the eventual t-shirt, toy, comic book and sponsorship deal that come along with the lifestyle (not unlike what would happen in real life if the movie took off). He just fights crime and stuff. Buildings get blown up and there is a villain in it that I just can't talk about yet because I have an actor in mind and what his collaborative efforts involved in it."

"Ohhhhh... What actors?"

"I've already gotten in contact with Brad Pitt, Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and that kid from Slumdog Millionaire"

"Which kid?"

"All of them."

"Aaah... I see..."

"Yeah, so as you can see, I have some pretty solid ideas already in the works and would just need some time to finish writing it."

Which one do you pick, producer? Do you pick the shot in the dark film (which could be a flop of epic proportions similar to Waterworld or Battlefield Earth) or do you pick the film that has so many names dropped that you can put a banner on the poster that says "Nominated for Every Single Award Ever Made" (in June, when no awards are given away and no nominations have been made). As you can see, the life of a big time Hollywood producer is not nearly as glamorous as you probably, previously envisioned. It's tough as nails and in this economy, the decisions are weighed even more heavily than in this example. Let me show you what I mean...

Let's look at the summer release schedule for this year (the ones that you've heard of):

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Star Trek
Angels and Demons
Terminator Salvation
Night at the Museum 2
Up
Land of the Lost
The Taking of Pelham 123 (it might be a stretch that people have REALLY heard of this)
Year One
Transformers 2
Ice Age 3
Public Enemies
Bruno
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Funny People
Inglourious Basterds
H2

Only a handful of these are completely and wholly original and even though they may be good movies, they aren't necessarily going to make a statement or change the way that movies are made. They probably aren't going to be groundbreaking but they are more than likely going to be box office breaking. This isn't the only evidence.

How many times have you heard of new movies being made and then it says in small print that is a remake of a really old movie or a foreign film? Let me tell you how often, every second of every minute of every hour of every day (.....). That's how often! Evil Dead is going to be remade, Nightmare on Elm Street is going to be "rebooted" and a ton of other movies that we have all grown up with or seen already are going to be remade and why? It's because people go to see these movies. People go see that movie with Queen Latifah in it where she does the thing with the whatever and learns a lesson. They go see the remake of Halloween and Friday the 13th. They go see the one millionth Tyler Perry's Madea Does This or That And May or May Not Go To Prison For It movie (exact title). People pay to see remakes and that is where the money is right now. Original movies are often given the negative moniker of "independent" or low-budget. I can safely say that I'm not a fan of the whole indie scene because some of those movies are just boring to me but there are some that deserve to make hundreds of millions of dollars based solely on the reason that they are entertaining, intelligent and very well-made. People aren't willing to take risks on these movies because money is tight and the genres that are doing well right now involve superheroes, horror remakes or Tyler Perry. It's a fact of life that we will just have to get used to until someone decides to take a chance and succeeds (Avatar may be the only movie this year that is extremely original and not just a gimmick that uses 3D, I have a lot of hope resting on James Cameron here).

In the end, people just want to be entertained and I am almost positive that I will go see many of the films that are on that list because I just want to escape the questions about the economy and whether or not we're in a recession or a depression (deprecession?). I'm tired of hearing about how people want Obama to fail or how this group is right and this group is wrong. I just want to go a movie and see stuff get blown up or to have characters make me laugh. I don't have anything against the people that go see the movies that I listed up above (TP and QL movies) because that is there style and that is cool. I am just worried that instead of original ideas, every year is going to be a slate full of remakes (even remakes of movies that only came out 2 or 3 years ago).

My one prayer is that they never decide to remake or "reboot" the Star Wars series or some other beloved property because if they do, there will be enormous amounts of hell to pay! I have said my peace (peace out).

Nothing to Write About...

2009-03-16T14:54:00.001-05:00

Misleading Graphs

2009-03-13T15:20:00.009-05:00

Have you ever been reading an article, watching television or whatever else and see a graph that just doesn't look right? Have you ever seen one that looks way too good to be true or way to obvious to be factually accurate? You are not alone, for I have seen these graphs. If you haven't seen or noticed this phenomenon then I am here to shed light on the subject. There are misleading graphs all around us that tell you things that aren't true or try to spin the truth in a way that makes it sound really awesome (that sounds awesome).

First off, we need a couple of examples. This first one is an example of a graph that is 100% correct, factually accurate and not skewed in any way:

It is one of those often looked over sciences (creating a graph) that more often than not is taken for granted. Let me show you a different kind of graph called a pie graph (or pie chart, chart pie, color pie, wheel-o-colors, wedged circular graph, Trivial Pursuit circle and numerous other names). It is used to compare what percentage of a whole (haha... maturity...) that multiple items take up (should add up to 100% unless you are really great at what you do and it necessitates 110% or even 120%... completely forgivable). Here is an example:

So, right now, you may be saying to yourself, "Ok, he's shown us some graphs that are obviously true but when is he going to show some misleading ones?" Because I am a mind reader, I will answer that question and provide some examples. I may scare you to think about it but some people in this world really aren't trustworthy sources. They will try to skew your view (rhymed it) and make you believe things that simply aren't true (rhymed it: x2). For example, what if I was trying to sell you vacuum cleaners. These are just the regular old "you have to push it" vacuum cleaners and I used a graph to illustrate why they are better than the robot or automatic vacuum cleaners (which is the product that you actually want to buy). I show you this graph:

Then, I tell you that there is obviously a correlation between robot vacs and vac related deaths (I shorten to vacs to impress you... are you impressed?). You look at the graph and are convinced that this is true. You buy 4 vacuums from me because hey, you don't want to die and you don't want anybody else in your family to die (hopefully, otherwise you must have an imbalance of some kind and should get that checked out... soon...). I walk off happy as a clam (clam chowder) with my $2,000. It's just that easy to be fooled folks but I don't want that to happen to you (also I don't sell vacuums but I may have just convinced myself). You are obviously more astute than the poor person in this example and so I ask you... Did you catch the mistake? It's not obvious at first... Let me show you:

I know, I know... You feel cheated and wronged (and you weren't even the one that bought the vacuums, unless you are... either way... it was just an example). You see that the wool has been pulled over your eyes (and I am the wolf). The fact that this graph doesn't say "TSW Surveys" or something of the sort is a dead giveaway. Also, he admits to making it the night before. How could he have gotten all of the data and created such a convincing graph in less than 24 hours (I did, using the Internet... took 3 minutes)?

This is what I am warning you about. It is easy to be deceived and I just want to look out for you. I care about you even though I have never met you. I just want you to be safe because that is what's most important to me. Now, let me leave you with a graph that will no doubt make you feel at east and at peace with the world:

(Note: All of the colors are either Red, White or Blue... just so you know... I also bleed those colors.)

(Note 2: You are so rich and smart!)

Can't Save Money

2009-03-12T15:37:00.003-05:00

I am missing the part of your brain that tells you that you should stop spending money. I'm also missing part that tells you that you should be saving money. They may be the same part but I don't really know for sure because I'm not a psychologist or whatever. All I know is that whenever I have some money in my wallet, pocket, under the mattress, in my account or in the cup holder of my car, I absolutely, 100% gotsta spend it. I don't know what my problem is but I most definitely have a problem (or a few problems, I mean, this one plus the other ones that I already have). Is it my fault or is it the fault of good advertising and marketing on the part of stores and websites? It could be a combination of both (but I would much rather blame others for my problems).

I walk into a store of any kind (usually Best Buy) with one thing in mind; I just need to get the last season of Gilmore Girls and I will have completed the whole set. It should be an in and out kind of thing (like I'm robbing a bank or... well... you know... other things...) but instead it becomes a spending spree of epic proportions with no sign of stopping. I'm picking up DVDs and CDs (who buys those anymore... am I right?) that I never know I needed or wanted. I start looking at every single video game that I don't have, but have heard of. I start looking at the Nintendo Wii and thinking; Is this the day when I finally give in to temptation and buy a $250 console that I will only play for 2 weeks and then sell on eBay? Let me tell you something... It's never that day, at least not yet. I go in to the store to spend around $20, which I have budgeted and end up spending at least $80. I do not understand it and I can't help it.

Let me give you a good explanation and a real-life example of how my mind works...

I was sitting in my room watching Kill Bill and I started thinking that maybe I should go to Best Buy and get a new copy of Pulp Fiction because mine was pretty well scratched and skipped a lot. This seemed like a pretty reasonable purchase because I had already owned the DVD at one point and so I needed to get it back into my library (perfectly rationalized). So, I jump in my car and head to the electronics super store, conveniently located one mile away from my apartment (C-O-N-S-P-I-R-A-C-Y?).

I walk through the door and am immediately hit with that smell (you know what I'm talking about). It is the smell electronics, the sweet perfume-y stench of electronic entertainment in all of its glory. The color blue is pasted on everything (my favorite color) and draws my eye in the direction of everything I want but can't afford (what did I come in here for again?). I immediately head back to the DVD section and remember that it's Tuesday and a bunch of new releases probably came out. I head down the aisle and see what there is to offer. There's the Watchmen Motion Comic, Madagascar 2, Righteous Kill (Dishonest Life?), re-releases of over a dozen old horror movies and a bunch of other random titles. Usually, this section would have more than likely forced me to buy something but I was able to overcome the temptation (Will Power: 1, Best Buy: 0).

My small victory was short-lived as I noticed there was a $6.99 movie deal sitting right next door to the new releases. I had just demonstrated my iron will so I thought that I could handle taking a gander at what was available. There wasn't too much of a selection but two titles stood out to me. There was Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Patriot Games (these two movies are pretty much as far away from each other as you can get but that's the beauty of it, isn't it?). I knew that I didn't have either one of them and decided that it was a perfect opportunity to expand the collection-o-movies (Will Power: 1, Best Buy: 2). I picked them up and walked to the next aisle (I was there for something... I just... Kill Bill?... No...Something about...).

What was awaiting me in this section? It was the TV DVDs. Yes, the section where you are convinced to by the DVD version of a TV show that you could see for free on TV whenever it was on or on the Internet (On Demand). I waltzed (quite the dancer) to the "F" section and saw Family Guy Volume 6 looking at me square in the eyes (googly eyes). Well, isn't that just overly convenient (C-O-N-... you get the idea) and appetizingly placed. I looked at the price (on sale for $19.99) and it was definitely reasonable. I decided to grab this one and add it to the other two movies that I already had. Once again, I moved on to the next aisle to see what was happening (Will Power: 1, Best Buy: 3).

By this point, I had started to remember that I came into the store wanting something. I had gone in specifically focused on purchasing an item. Luckily, the next aisle consisted of comedies and that had to be the right genre. For some reason, Best Buy's employees or "Blue Shirts", as they are loving called, must have been taking a break and forgot to put out any movie that I wanted in this section (what a huge and embarrassing failure on their part). So, I was able to move along to the next aisle (the score remains the same because this all happened subconsciously).

AHA! Eureka! Dé gracias el a Dio dulce y misericordioso (where did that come from)! I finally found the item that I was looking for and I knew it this time (110%). I placed the DVDs that I was holding on the rack and picked up the case in front of me. The artwork was really well done on the front cover and looked pretty appealing. I thought to myself that the reviews were probably wrong and that was why I had come into the store in the first place. It looked like a cheesy and entertaining Japanese-Martial Arts-Action-Western so I decided to pick it up (Sukiyaki Western Django). I went to the front of the store to purchase the items (Will Power: 1, Best Buy: 4).

The total rang up and was just under $60. I whipped out my card and slid that sucker through the machine (card slice-thing... majig...) and signed on the digitally dotted line. I left the store feeling pretty satisfied and headed home.

I sat down and opened each one of my DVDs admiring the artwork, inside contents and whatnot (remember when every DVD came with an insert that showed all of the chapters and stuff like that? Whatever happened to that? I used to love having those inserts because it made it exciting to open the case every... single... time... Ahhh... Nostalgia). I then placed Family Guy, Jay and Silent Bob and Patriot Games on my DVD shelf and put Sukiyaki Western Django into my DVD player. The movie started and who, of all people, was in the very first scene? Quentin Tarantino... I had a flashback of epic proportions (kind of like Memento, it was all in reverse and I was played by Guy Pearce, it was very tastefully done, Christopher Nolan directed) and realized that the entire reason that I went to Best Buy was to get a new copy of Pulp Fiction and that definitely wasn't what I walked out of there with. I thought to myself that I would just have to go back to Best Buy tomorrow and be a lot more careful this time (Will Power: 1, Best Buy: 5... Pulp Fiction cost around $14.99 and brought my total to right around $75... awesome).

I know what you're thinking... No, I'm not stupid... I actually consider myself a reasonably smart individual but I just have a horribly addictive personality that forces me to buy insane amounts of DVDs and other electronics-related items. I wrote this post as a warning to everyone that is like me. If you are going to go shopping with the intent of only getting one item, have someone else go with you. It is not only enough to tell yourself that is all you're going to get or to write a list. You need help. You cannot go it alone. It is too harsh of a world out there and it is made to exploit your disease (yeah, I can call it a disease, if video game addiction is a disease, then so is this one). It all brings me back to a quote that was once uttered by probably one of the smartest men in the world (I could scientifically and mathematically prove that if you would like but don't ask, it's too complicated). I have written it on this blog before.

"Money isn't everything, but at the same time, it is." - Me

Money drives us all. Some of us are driven to accumulate as much of it as possible and some of us are driven to burn it like we're freezing in a Russian winter (terribly cold, I would imagine). I fall into the second group but I wouldn't say that I'm ashamed of it. I have so many movies that I've been thinking about renting them out to people for a small fee of around $3 ($10 if they're drunk) and I think it could be reasonably profitable (who am I kidding?). The only problem is that if I saw those movies missing... My mind would tell me that I should probably go to Best Buy and get a copy of it because hey, after all, I had already owned it at one point (almost framed it).

Why I Miss the Nintendo 64

2009-03-11T13:22:00.002-05:00

It was the nineties which many people will tell you was a much simpler time. Video games were no more than 2D adventures, no matter how beloved, that had you playing as an Italian plumber jumping on things. It was all about timing and memorization in order to win these types of games and the graphics or storytelling were never meant to be overly impressive or overly dramatic. Each game was set out to be enjoyable and fun above all. For me, 1996 was the year that the video game industry was thrown for a loop and the possibly the best video game console of all time was released: the Nintendo 64.

This system was a 64-bit punch to the face (and groin). It forced me to seriously consider if I had been asleep my entire life and had never seen something so beautiful and impressive. This was a simple machine made of black plastic and circuitry that was able to create pure magic on my television. Throughout my time spent with the system I played GoldenEye, Ocarina of Time, Super Mario 64, Wave Race, NFL Blitz 2000, Majora's Mask, Super Smash Bros., NFL QB Club '98, multiple Mortal Kombat (Oh yeah! Combat with a K) games and so many more. It was such a powerhouse and had a library of some of the greatest games ever made. I spent entirely too much time playing on this system (mostly Zelda) and found it difficult to share with my friends. We would get into fights over the controller and broke quite a few of them in the process but that is beside the point.

There were two kinds of kids when I was growing up. There were those that played Nintendo 64 and those who played Playstation (*Cough*losers*Cough*). The Playstation may have had "better" graphics and Crash Bandicoot and whatnot but there's no way that it was better than the N64. For example, the PS1 didn't have GoldenEye or Zelda so, BAM!, it already lost (if you question my evidence and overwhelming proof, then we could throw down fisticuffs). I was an N64 kind of kid and so were all of my friends. Each one of us had a console of our own and would travel to each other's houses with our favorite controller in our hands and go to battle in any game imaginable (yes, we played Pokemon Stadium and Pokemon Snap... embarrassing). Our favorites were GoldenEye and Perfect Dark though. We played those for hours on end and stayed up late into the night. It was the best time of my life (I didn't have to work and school was a lot easier back then).

Possibly the only downside of the console was how non-durable the controllers were. You couldn't even throw them against the wall without having to worry if they would break or not. My friend was actually able to rip one in half when he was younger (he kind of had a Hulk-like rage that couldn't be contained when he played the hardest difficulty level setting on GoldenEye or when I completely schooled him in multiplayer). In an interesting side-note, my friend was also able to rip a PS2 controller in half later in life (I think he does it just to prove he can or to battle against faulty craftsmanship). I broke the joystick quite a few times and over the lifetime of my console, which was surprisingly long, I probably had to buy around 12 controllers or so (I didn't buy them, my mom did and she usually wasn't too thrilled about it). I completely contribute my current anger problem to the difficulty of some of the games on Nintendo 64.

So, now we get down to brass tax: Why do I miss the Nintendo 64 so much? The truth is that I have grown a bit tired of the formulaic games that continue to come out for the Xbox 360. I love the console and enjoy many of the games but it seems like you either play a shooter that follows the same controls as every other shooter, an ultra-realistic racing game that takes all of the fun out of it (for me anyway) or an open-world adventure game. I have absolutely nothing against these games and as I said, I enjoy quite a few of them but I long for the story that Ocarina of Time told. I wish that today I could feel the same way I did the first time I played GoldenEye because I basically felt like James Bond himself. It was like stepping into the shoes of my most favorite character of all time and literally getting to be him for hours on end. Plus, you got to shoot stuff. Also, I miss the simplicity of Mario Kart and Wave Race. These games were just a lot of fun because they were necessarily realistic but made me feel as though I could totally ride a jet ski in real life or shoot a turtle shell while driving down the unusually curvy interstate (also drop bananas, those were always pretty annoying). It was just fun and I didn't need to spend half of my game experience learning a new control scheme. I just got to jump in and play with almost a nonexistent learning curve. Again, I'm not trying to say that today's games are abominations or unplayable by any means because I'm still an avid gamer. I'm just saying that it was a simpler time (if I stopped writing here, the last line I just wrote combined with the first line that I wrote at the very beginning, would frame the entire post... That's called framing... moving on).

The Xbox 360, Playstation 3 and Nintendo Wii are all pushing the envelope in their own individual ways. Some are pushing through innovative and family-oriented gameplay while others are focusing more on graphics, features and online play. It doesn't matter which one is better than all the others because the truly best console has already been out for around 12 to 13 years. It didn't have online play or too many special features but the Nintendo 64 was innovative in a different way. The only focus was the make the system work well, be durable/reliable (Microsoft could learn from this, I'm talking RRoD) and have a library of games that were all enjoyable and reasonably easy to play. In those goals, it succeeded and continues to succeed for many people. If you just visit eBay sometime, you will see hundreds of auctions for N64's and almost all of them are being bid on and eventually sold. They are still in demand so I really get to my main point...

Nintendo should re-release the N64 for a limited time so that I can buy a brand new one that won't cost me over $300. It should be released with Super Mario 64, GoldenEye, Ocarina of Time, Star Fox, Mario Kart and Wave Race (I would be able to get the other ones further on down the road). Because there is a demand for it, there should also be a supply for it. It's simple economics and I would be willing to visit Japan and explain this to the men who run Nintendo.

Except for that last paragraph which explains what could happen to make me not have to miss it, that is why I miss the Nintendo 64 (Framing...framing...framing...).

Stories Based on the Random Topic Generator

2009-03-10T14:47:00.002-05:00

I went to a website that allowed me to generate random topics and I have decided to write a few stories based on what pops up and see where I can go with it.

1. A wild sushi shoots pure energy at a cat in the brain.

The cat wandered down the alleyway looking for food of any variety. The usual dumpsters behind restaurants were losing their importance because with the economy the way it is, leftovers are often a rarity. The cat quickly realized that tonight could be the night when he was going to have to lean on his instinctual crutches and either hunt or scratch on something to get his mind of everything. Just then, a new opportunity presented itself to the cat. A lone piece of sushi sat in the center of the pavement. It was a perfectly wrapped piece of uncooked fish covered in a nice seaweed creation. Of course, the cat had a second thought, wondering whether or not he should eat something that could have come from anywhere. The thought quickly left him and he lunged for the treat. Little did the cat know it would be his last meal…

While in the air and flying toward his dinner, the piece of wild sushi pulled out a tiny weapon and shot pure energy at the cat and hit it directly in the brain. It avoided the head and skull altogether and went straight for the brain. The cat fell to the ground, instantly killed. The piece of sushi put the weapon away and stayed still. A few minutes later a young man walked up to the dead cat, picked it up and walked into a building exclaiming something in a long lost dialect. The sign above the door was unintelligible but had the characters “熔爐”. I didn’t learn what those characters meant until about three years later when I was out eating with a friend of mine from Shanghai. He told me that the writing stood for “The Melting Pot” and I will still never eat Chinese food to this day.

2. A happy barn owl incinerates a lawn chair due to copyright infringements.

When I was a youngster, I worked on a farm for approximately 18 ½ hours a day. It was hard work to be sure but very rewarding when the day was done. I didn’t have many friends as work and school took up most of my time. I was able to gain one good friend though and his name was Wilford. Wilford was a happy barn owl who I would often visit during the nighttime hours and go on adventures with. One time we saved the Queen of England from a pack of ravenous dogs and yet another time we saved a damsel in distress from herself, to be exact. Nothing was too strange for me and ole Wilford to overcome and conquer.

I remember one particular event in particularly clear particulars. First off, I have to mention that if there was anything that Wilford truly hated, it was copyright infringements. There is nothing worse in the world than to steal the work of somebody else and claim it to be your own to Wilford. He even took a few classes in law school that focused on the specifics of the literary crime. Of course, this was Owl School and their punishments were a bit different than those of humans. For instance, if an owl were to steal the work of another owl they were to be tied to a tree and forced to sit in the direct sunlight where they would be turned to ash. It was harsh to be sure but I’ve never heard of an owl infringing on copyrights. Have you?

Anyway, the point has been made clear enough. Wilford and I were sitting on a porch when we overheard a couple of lawn chairs discussing the finer points of books and whatnots. They were talking about Shakespeare, Stephen King and that real smart guy that wrote all of those Star Wars books. Lucas something… Needless to say, Wilford was intrigued and when his interest was piqued he decided to join in on the un-lively debate… because they were chairs… I don’t really remember what happened that made Wilford so angry but apparently it had something to do with infringed rights of copy and there was only one punishment for that. Because the chairs obviously weren’t owls, Wilford had to improvise. He threw one of the lawn chairs into an incinerator to serve as a warning to all other lawn chairs that wished to “borrow” ideas without permission. This was an admirable act to be sure.

3. A romantic dog molests a she-male in a blue-collar home.

I’m not even going near this one…

4. A stripper mouse eats a fish and finally gets it.

“I just don’t understand what all of the fuss is about,” said the stripper mouse “I really only eat cheese and that has worked very well for me.” The idea of eating fish had never crossed the mind of Cherry Stems, the stripper mouse. She was used to the more decadent meals of cheese, milk and other dairy products. Fish were filthy animals that lived in their own feces, not like a mouse at all... Not at all…

“What will you do when all of the cheese in the world has run out and there is nothing for you to eat?” asked the regular customer who often visited Cherry Stems on the weekends. He was an awfully big spender willing to give Cherry almost everything if she asked for it. He wasn’t a sleaze by any means. He didn’t have a wife or a kid to go home to. He was just some lonely guy who had to pay women to dance in front of him or in this case, mice… It doesn’t say anything about that next to the word “sleaze” in the dictionary.

“I guess I would just have to starve. If that happened, who would you have to spend all of your money on?” Cherry really hit the man where it hurt, his pocketbook… and his heart. The man walked out of the club dejected which immediately forced Cherry to put on some clothes (mouse clothes?) and run after him.

“I didn’t mean anything by that. I appreciate you coming by to see me and all. I just don’t see why you always talk about fish whenever you are here.”

“Cherry, I just want you to be happy and the only for that to happen is if you eat this North Atlantic Cod sandwich from Runza.” This particular customer just so happened to work for the marketing department of Runza.

“If that’s what it takes, then I will eat the sandwich right here, right now.” Cherry took the sandwich and it nearly crushed her because she is a mouse and the sandwich was bigger than she was. She’s not the same size as the customer. He is a human being after all. She took a bite and exclaimed, “I finally get it!”

The End

Well, that whole thing was pretty awful and no good stories came from it but that is the joy of using something random and seeing what happens I would like to thank the website: http://www.texahol.com/topicgen/index.php for giving me the inspiration I needed to write something horrible on my blog.

Thank you and goodnight!

The Second Civil War

2009-03-09T14:33:00.001-05:00

The United States is currently in a state of despair but we are not in a state of disrepair. Before the election, different factions were fighting for our attention and begging for us to listen. Did we make the right choice? That is yet to be seen. The country is split on how to solve the economic, military, and foreign problems that are inflicting the government and nation as a whole. Republicans and Democrats are divided. Independents still are not heard. The citizens feel as though the “people” portion of democracy is shrinking and that the “rule” portion is growing exponentially. Do I speak for the United States? No, I do not. I rely on observations and opinions. I say what I see, in other words and what I see is a second civil war.

Politicians enjoy using the phrase “Main Street” when talking about the average families in America. They also use the moniker of “Wall Street” to define the business-type suits in America. Does it solve any problems to symbolically segregate the citizens of a country? I don’t know. However, there is a difference between the two and the divide continues to grow; the gap continues to widen. The civil war between Main Street and Wall Street is not one of violence or weapons. It is a war of ideals, values and, unfortunately, money. While drawing parallels, all I know is that this reconstruction must go better than the one from America’s past. Both sides must console each other through compromise. One must not take advantage of the other. Unity will be the means of survival and growth. Rebuilding may appear to be an insurmountable feat but it is not. We may hold grudges.

“Wall Street” and banks may have helped put us in the financial crisis by overextending their spending and loans. The bubble has popped, so to speak. Prosperity will inevitably hit a barrier. There may have been signs but greed has become a virtue for some and a thorn for others. Fairness is difficult to see when one group suffers for the mistakes of another. Main Street takes the hit while Wall Street gets the bailout. Do these decisions make sense? Is there any other way? There probably is but I’m not the one who makes the sensible or insensible decisions. I am one of many who simply have to “put up with” the agendas or vendettas that are created by the rulers of this country. I do not envy them. The disagreements and differences between the Streets are plentiful and often difficult to overcome.

For Main Street however, there is no reason to emotionally or politically secede. The strength of this country relies on our ability to debate and present our point of view. No matter which Street a person lives on, they are still an American citizen and that is what is important. One must not fault another for striving to be successful but at the same time there must be limits. Decisions must be constantly and ethically questioned to validate their effects.

This pertains to individuals as well as the government. Education and experience are important. Values are important. The whole must be better than the sum of its parts and always will be. But still, politicians, activists, reformers, and traditionalists fight for our attention on a regular basis. Individuals believe they can single-handedly solve the problems of the world. We’ve all heard of a battle for our hearts and minds but this is a battle for our very existence and prominence. It is a battle for our future. Opinions, although important, must be put aside for the sake of the “greater good” that is always stressed.

I do not provide answers or solutions. I do not provide a measure of complacency or a shred of false hope. I do not begin to believe that I will change opinions or unite the country. No. I do not vie for attention but I do hope to provoke thought. I hope for cooperation and forgiveness. Excuses are not acceptable. Sometimes, the simplest solutions are the correct ones. Again, I do not pretend to know what is right or how to “save the world”. I am merely one of many; one voice; one part.

The Importance of Writing in Video Games

2009-03-09T13:19:00.001-05:00

The video game industry is and has been growing for the past decade at an increasing rate. What once used to be a showcase of platforming and simple encounters has become a powerhouse medium for storytelling, character-driven narrative and compelling, sometimes complicated, canons that allow for growth and the ability to spread out into different types of entertainment. For instance, many video games now have novel, film, comic book, toy and other tie-ins that allow for fans to purge deeper into the intricacies of their favorite video game franchise. During the days of Mario, this was in existence but not nearly as well-implemented as it is today. The potential of video game storytelling is at an all time high and has the opportunity to pack more information and characters into a longer experience.

I am an avid fan of movies and video games. In my opinion, the importance of storytelling in both genres is closely tied together. I use entertainment as an escape, as do many people. I want to be fully enveloped by and submerged into a world I would normally not be accustomed to seeing. I want to meet characters that are interesting and have varying agendas. I want encounters that feel epic in scale but at the same time have an emotional impact. Films have been hitting their stride in this style of storytelling for decades now but video games are only know truly realizing the importance of an emotional connection.

I have been surprised that many games haven't utilized the advantage they have in giving control of a character over to a player. This allows the one who holds the controller to ultimately decide what happens in the game and at what speed the story progresses. A personalized experience, tailored to each individual allows for a unique narrative to emerge. Even when a game gives few choices or appears to be "on rails" for most of the time, it does allow, to a certain degree, a suspension of reality and a feeling of "being" the character that you play as. Every player gets to be an actor in their favorite kind of movie and that is a powerful idea.

There has been a debate roaring for awhile now that asks whether or not video game should be considered an art form. The real question is: what is art? The definition of art is different for everyone. Some people can look at a microwave and see art while others need to see a painting or a sculpture to make up their mind. Film is considered art as it is a creative medium with the ability to illicit emotion or analysis. By this rationalization, video games should also be considered art. At the same time, not every single property within art can or will be considered "art" by everyone. Again, this makes the debate appear to be invalid based on the principle that every individual has the ability to form opinions and so in my opinion, yes, video games are an art form when used to expand and move the industry forward.

The importance of story truly shines through when the decisions that you make, as well as ones that are made for you, in video games have to be thought about or rationalized in some way. If you are playing a game and disagree with something that you are forced to do, then you may be reluctant to perform the task. If an act in a game is one that you agree with, then you may be more enthusiastic to perform it. Again, the story does well to cater to the needs of an individual or at least to give the player something to relate to.

How do you give the player a connection within a game? You give them a blank slate or a fantasy-fulfillment of sorts. Some of the best games that I have played give you a character onto which you can paint your own image or description. For instance, if the character wasn't being controlled by you, then you might not find him/her to be interesting at all. You are allowed to play however you see fit and reach goals based on your idea of what is the best course of action. Other games allow you to "fill the shoes" of a character that embodies the kinds of talents and abilities that the player wishes they could have. In this idea, the player can disappear into the role and see the world through the character's eyes rather than their own. Again, the suspension from reality is the first step to immersion.

The main character is important but so is the supporting cast. Characters should be interesting to talk to and have different personalities. The goal should be to create people who have never been seen before. There shouldn't be cookie-cutter characters unless they have a very good reason to be that way. There should be back stories and histories so that you can feel like you know where each character came from. There should be branching dialogue so that the same character doesn't sound as if they are on a loop. Careful consideration should be taken when crafting the surrounding characters because they can be just as important as the playable one. The world has to feel real and interesting people is the first step.

The world itself should be fun to explore and get lost in, which relies on and starts with the writing. The places you visit and the buildings you enter should have a history, even if the origin is never expressed out loud. Each structure, landmark, formation, plant, animal or anything else that lives in the world should have a story of its own. The real story is in the details. How descriptive can you get with even the smallest presence: "The tiny rock, made of slate, could have once been a part of the greater canyon wall that once stood in the spot we are currently standing in." No matter how minute the topic is there should be emphasis placed on it. If one feels that there is no way to expand on something, then maybe it is unnecessary to include it.

Once all of the details are put into place, the main storyline can come along. Games have found success in having a main story with branching side-stories that allow for the player to get the minimal experience or dig deeper into tale. To me, the most important place to start is to provide yourself with a synopsis of the story. This is the basic narrative that one wishes to follow the basic idea of what is going to happen. This can be in-depth: "A man whose family was killed by a nefarious gang with ties to a multi-national corporation has to find a way to avenge the death of his loved ones while ensuring that no other person has to die at the hand of the group." With this synopsis, one could begin expanding upon it and adding in more details. While adding more details and expanding, you can move toward building the skeleton. This is the full story written out for the very first time. Some people call this a rough-draft but if you look at it as the bones then you can begin to flesh out the more intricate ideas. You make a main storyline, that is hopefully already interesting, and make it even more entertaining. This can also be the time in which side-stories are written and incorporated into the larger picture. These extra stories shouldn't stray too far away from the main storyline however as the intensity should still be felt as much as possible.

I know that it is common practice, and a practice that I strongly believe in, to write the story of the game first so that when working on art and programming the game itself, the designers will have a great idea of what different places and characters should look like. This is where description is the key. Each character should have a long and well thought out description that details their attributes and appearance but also their overall personality so that nuances can be added to facial expressions and even in the way that a character moves. Dialogue should already be written so that designers can know what kind of person the particular character is. This will help in the development process and make things move more slowly. Of course, most of the major video game studios have already figured this out but that does not in any way take away from the importance. It's easy to say, "Make the guy really muscular with a huge machine gun and then have him shoot stuff." It's a lot harder to give the character a personality and an origin to make the player care enough about them.

Now, I want to talk about why video game stories are important on an emotional level. Most people like to have emotional connections with characters. They long to be able to relate to the heroes of literature, film and any other medium. As I said before, video games have the distinct advantage of putting control of the story in the hands of the player. The player is able to manipulate their surroundings and use different tactics to complete the game. In some cases, the player gets to decide who lives and who dies. My question is this: What if when the player got to the point in a game where they have to make a choice of whether or not to kill another character and they really don’t care either way? The answer is that the potential of the situation has been wasted and that something was missed in the story preceding that event. The best moments like this are when you are forced to decide if a character deserves to live after you have spent five or more hours working together with or pursuing that character. This has been mishandled in some games and is extremely powerful when used in the correct way. Every situation in storytelling has to have a profound effect on the player.

Overall, video games are evolving very nicely. There are still many improvements that can be made but this is only a matter of time. Video game companies should start expanding their writing departments and bringing on more talent. Their staff should consist of screenwriters, novelists and essayists. There should be varying degrees of writing on every staff to ensure that the maximum potential as well as the largest audience is reached. The importance of story is being realized and while many companies have based their success on this principle, many others have not. The excuse is often used that while story is important, the main goal of game creators should be to make the experience fun. Although this is true, it should most definitely start with the story. If you are able to fashion a story that hits emotionally and physically, then you should be able to decide whether or not to make the game. Also, after the story is written, the rest of the process becomes the slightest bit easier. In order to be fun, games have to be compelling and interesting. This doesn’t mean that every game has to be serious or an action epic, this just means that whatever genre the game aims to fall into should be researched and improved upon. The best games ever created have found a way to take what has already been made and make vast improvements. They take the core fundamentals and build their own narratives. As I said before, video games are an art form so long as they contribute to the forward movement of the industry. In my opinion, the success or failure of a video game starts with the writing and that is why it is so important when making video games.